I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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