So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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