I want to have your abortion
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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