the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
