Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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