Barsexuality is the new black.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
