Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
