dude i'm inner monologue high
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
