It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
