I want you more than these girls want KFC
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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