i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
