I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
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Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize