in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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