So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
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I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
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Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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