omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
