He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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