So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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