Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
