i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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