dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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