Already got asked if we're dating
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
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And the cops told us we were all naked.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
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I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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