best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
