sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You did what with his pubic hair?
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