ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
