And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
