is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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