How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
