lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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