You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
