she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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