Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
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his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
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I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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