i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
