Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
