Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
