I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
