Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
