So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.