It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.