Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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