Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
