I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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