I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Randomize
