We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
