Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
