I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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