oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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