you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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