They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
