and next time when you feel me up, do it right
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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