There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
