glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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