So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
