The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
