i just wanna soil my oats bro
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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