I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's shark week go big or go home
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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