apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
