Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
