I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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