The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
