apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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