And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
