Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
