thus making me awesome and them whores
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
