singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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