Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
