very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Randomize
