My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I love having hate sex.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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