This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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