so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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